


If You're Broken I'll Fix You

by JohnLaurensxSamAdams, totally_punk_rock



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eating Disorders, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Heartbreak, Hospitals, John is sad, John is somewhat friends with Lee, Kissing, Love expert Theo, M/M, Near Death, Nightmares, Nonbinary Marquis de Lafayette, Past Abuse, Peggy's a single Pringle, Pissed Aaron Burr, Protective Aaron, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Surgery, girls night, late night, so kinda girls night out, though boys are with them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-06 14:20:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12819384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnLaurensxSamAdams/pseuds/JohnLaurensxSamAdams, https://archiveofourown.org/users/totally_punk_rock/pseuds/totally_punk_rock
Summary: After a messy break up with one Alexander Hamilton, John Laurens seeks refuge with Aaron Burr. In the events if a year, the two fall in love and slowly move on.Updates on weekends. Normally





	1. A Game of Heartbreak

**Author's Note:**

> The gang goes out for some late night shopping. Alex is stupid. John is sad. Aaron is confused. Basically everyone being happy but John. He's a stick in the mud. Once again, I'm sorry if this is horrible.

Every kiss was like a knife in his heart. Every touch was a needle in his skin. Every whispered sweet nothing was a tug in his stomach. Every little thing they did was like this plague trying to kill him.  
Jefferson leans in for another kiss and Hamilton happily obliges. They kiss as Laf and Angelica snap as many photos as they can. Herc teases Alex with Peggy and Eliza while Maria and Theo set to work on Thomas. Even Aaron throws in an accessional joke. But he's not. He can't go over there without his heart shattering all over again.  
'This is stupid. I should never have come. It's just a bad reminder of everything we once had.' John puts his head in his hands and holds in a sob. It's like this game they want him to play. And as long as he's got friends he'll have to deal with it. The small pizza shop isn't overly busy. Everyone's so focused on Alex and Thomas, 'They won't even notice I'm gone.' John stands and makes a break for the downstairs bathrooms. He slams the stall door behind him and breaks into heaving sobs. He leans against the wall and covers his mouth to muffle the sobs. 'Alex and I were perfect. He told me every night. Every night even after he had sex with Jefferson. Every night up until I packed up my stuff and stormed out. And now I'm just a burden to everyone. I burden Laf and Herc with having to play referee for me and Alex. I burden the Schuyler sisters with my problems. And Aaron is letting me live with him. I'm living with him and-' "Fuck." John whispers into his hands. And Aaron is being so understanding. What did John do to deserve such good friends. "John? You in there?" Maria calls through the locked door. John takes a few deep breaths and wipes away his tears. No more tears. He won't cry over Hamilton anymore. 'I wish that was true.' John clears his throat. "Yeah." "We're at H&M. I came down to get you. You should tell someone before you run off darling." She calls back as he washes off his face. Thankfully, he's gotten good at hiding he's crying. He opens the door to find Maria outside. Her arms are crossed and her whole body says she knows why he ran off. She frowns upon looking him over. "Have you been crying?" John bites his lip. "Are you gonna tell anyone?" He rubs at his cheeks, as if to rub away the evidence. Maria blinks before she pulls the taller man into a hug. After a moment of being shocked, John relaxes and bends down a bit. "I ain't gonna tell no body if you don't want me to. Loosen Alex isn't the end of the world hon. You find someone else and he'll be nothing but a sad memory." She lets go and gives John's cheek a sisterly peck. He smiles gratefully and follows her upstairs. They arrive to find Laf in a new dress. They spot John and run over. "There you are! Come, we found a shirt we, how you say, what you to model." They tug him into the fitting rooms. "You know how to talk Laf." John laughs as a shirt is tosses at his head. A sleep shirt that reads: For the Revolution. But the l-o-v-e is backwards and rainbow so it spells love. He rolls his eyes. "Let me guess, you think it will look cute?" He elbows Laf, who giggles before running off to try on another dress. Someone clears their throat behind John and he turns around. "I picked that one out actually." Aaron smiles shyly and for some reason, John blushes. Some part of him whoops and it sends this spark of joy rushing through him. He smiles. "G-good choice." He stammers before running into the dressing room. If he would have looked back, he would have seen Theo flash Aaron a thumbs up. John walks by one room and jumps as someone stumbles out. He sighs as he sees its only Eliza. "Sorry John, didn't mean to scare you." Her lipstick is messy and he spots Maria's feet inside the room. He smirks. "If you don't want anyone to know you an Maria were making out in there you might want to fix your make up." He teases. Eliza slaps his arm lightly. "Shut up." She hangs up a dress and heads back in. John laughs quietly and enters a stall if his own. He puts on the shirt after taking off his own. It's big and shows off some if his chest. He tugs at the ends uncomfortably. "John! You better come out and show us!" Herc calls, earning laughs from everyone else. "Yeah it doesn't even take Thomas that long to put on a shirt!" Alex yells and he hears Thomas protesting. His heart clenches and he gives on last glance in the mirror before walking out. He shyly comes out. "It's a little big." John shrugs helplessly. Laf claps and jumps up. Herc gives him thumbs up. Peggy bear hugs him. He gives a slight glance in Aaron's direction. Even with his dark skin tone, it was clear that Aaron Burr, the robot who seemed to have no emotions at times, was blushing. John feels his own cheeks turn red and tears his eyes away. "I'm buying it! I'm buying it for you!" Laf shouts as they cling onto his shoulders. John chuckles but it dies in his throat as he catches Alex blushing too. He grins at John and anger burns in his veins. He glares back and removed himself from the squealing crowd. "Ok whatever. I'm going to change out of it now." He says with a bit of venom in his voice. "Aw come on John, leave it on a bit longer-" Thomas starts. John feels his anger spike as Alex's greedy eyes dig into him. "I said now." He shouts and stalks back into his stall. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He puts his blue button up back on and carries the hanger out. Most of the crowd has split off into smaller groups. "I'm guessing you didn't like it." Aaron's suddenly there. His voice is tiny and maybe even sad. John shakes his head. "No! I love it! Just, I didn't like the way..." He trails off, unable and unwilling to continue. Aaron looks at him for a moment before sighing. "Was Alex eyeing you?" A silent nod. "Then that's understandable." Aaron smiles and heads over to the cashier to buy something. John smiles to himself and buys the shirt. "Hey John, want to join us? We're gonna go walk around a bit." Angelica comes up behind him. Her hand swings in Theo's and Aaron trails behind them. He nods and off they go. He finds himself drifting back to walk with Aaron. "John, do you remember the advice you gave Herc on telling Laf he liked them?" Aaron blurts out randomly. John frowns and turns to Aaron. "Yeah, why?" "I- I like this person and I wanted to know how I should- I guess I wanted to- how would I go about- telling them- you know- um-?" Aaron turns bright red and starts fidgeting with his hands. John's honestly never seen Aaron so at lose for words. "Tell them you like them." He offers. Aaron nods. "And ask them out?" He mummers, voice soft. John smiles and pays his back. "Well first, you have to be sure of yourself. You have to go in with your mind made up and no hesitations. Don't go over board on appearance because it could seem to dramatic. Maybe give small hints to the fact you like them. If you feel confident enough flirting with them then go head, just don't make them uncomfortable. You have to be in control too. If you stutter you seem unsure and scared which isn't appealing. Then be yourself. If your having to be someone you're not to earn someone's love, than their not a good person for you. That help?" John feels like he rambled too long. His eyes sting as he remembers giving similar advice to Alex, advice he used to ask John out. "Jesus, you might have to write all that down for me." Aaron jokes. For some reason, the way his eyes crinkle up when he laughs is cute to John. The freckled man laughs with him, pushing those thoughts away. "But thanks. I'll keep that in mind." "Can I ask who it is?" John asks, feeling a bit nosy. Aaron turns red again and looks down at his shoes. "I'd prefer not to say." He mumbles. John nods and decides to leave the topic alone. He doesn't want to cause Aaron any trouble. Especially after how kind he's been, letting John stay with him. "That's fine. Whoever it is though, they'll be pretty damn lucky to have such a great man." John says. Aaron smiles back gratefully. They go back to watch Angelica and Theo flirt up in front of them. John smiles to himself as Angelica places a kiss to Theo's cheek. Despite himself, John finds himself yawning. "Are you tired?" Aaron asks. John shakes away the thoughts of who that sounded like and focuses on the present. "Kinda." He rubs his eyes. Aaron almost smirks. He catches John's wrist. "We can head home. I'm ready to go." John looks into his genuine coco eyes. He nods and they head out, leavening group to wonder where they went. John changes into his new sleep shirt before snuggling up with his stuffed turtle Francis, named by Laf. He closes his eyes and instead of thinking of how much he hates Alexander or how much he wants Thomas to break Alex's heart the way he did John's, he thinks if how lucky he is to be here. Even if he's now single and hurting, he's still surrounded by other people who can become his everything. 'And he'll be nothing but a sad memory.'


	2. I Have So Many Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron has a chat with Theo. He considers John's advice. And then decides to make pizza. John wants to help but he's a clutz today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaron has a chat with Theo. He considers John's advice. And then decides to make pizza. John wants to help but he's a clutz today. And my baby is tired. He had a rough day.

Theo was already waiting at the door. She frowns at Aaron, who's panting. Rightly so considering he just ran all the way here.  
"You're late." She huffs and leads him inside. Two cups of tea are waiting for them already. Angelica is passed out on the couch. Aaron can't help but smile at his best friend as she kisses her girlfriend's forehead. 'At least one of us has someone Theo.'  
"I know, sorry. I lost track of time." Aaron takes the cup of tea she offers him. He sighs and takes a sip as they sit down. She nods.  
"So, how is he doing?" She says on a kinder note. Aaron smiles softly and thinks of his new room mate. 'John Laurens.' A man going through a terrible heartbreak. Who came to Aaron in the middle of the night seeking shelter and comfort. Who in a few nights, had manged to steal Aaron's heart. He was all Aaron could think of anymore. And that was the problem.  
"Better I think. He still hates talking about Alex or Thomas but he's getting better." Aaron doesn't feel the need to mention the sadness forever there in those amber eyes. The slumped shoulders and damped spirit. John smiles less and he's quieter too.  
"That's good. Make sure not to push him though. He might break if someone tries to love him like that agian for awhile. He's still coping." Theo reminds him. Aaron nods along, not daring to interrupt. Theo finishes and he stops nodding.

"I know Theo, I know. Do you think he'll ever, I don't know, maybe go to the movies with me? Or us?" Aaron fidgets with his fingers while staring into the yellowish tea. It's too sweet for his taste, but he'll drink some of it to be nice.  
"Time will heal him. And yes, I do believe he would. If you're think about it though, ask the rest of the group too. Going only with you might count as a date in his book." Theo says thoughtful, as if a poet or something.  
"Thanks, that's good advice. I think." Aaron chuckles as Theo slaps his arm.  
"I am a love expert Mr. Burr you should show some respect. Now shoo. Go make dinner or something but you can't stay here." Theo puffs out her chest and puts her nose in the air. Aaron bursts out laughing but nods.  
"Yes ma'am. I will do that." He picks up his stuff and heads for his apartment.  
The lights are already on inside and he can here Christmas music in the air. He opens the door and is hit with a burst of peppermint and ginger. He smiles to himself and shuts the door, setting down his brief case.  
"John? I'm back!" He calls. He waits a few moments and when he gets no awnser, frowns. He crosses to the living room, worried about John. He peeks in the kitchen first. Then the bathrooms and then John's room. He's near panic attack by this point. He's about to scream for John when a soft snore from the couch comes to him. He spins and sees John sprawled out across the couch. Relief floods through Aaron. He sighs and walks over. John caramel curls are a strewn and his hand is still on his keyboard. His stuffed turtle, Francis, rests in his other arm. Aaron has to clap a hand over his mouth to keep from squealing. Holy fuck. John's so cute.  
"John?" Aaron whispers. The man doesn't stir but let's out another soft snore and crinkles his nose. Aaron smiles and gentally pries the computer away from John. He then takes his Kings College blanket and covers his roommates body. John mutters something incoherent in his sleep and rolls over. Aaron grins like an idiot and near skips into the kitchen.  
His hands fly into motion as he pulls out what he needs to make pizza. Carol of the bells is playing and he jams out even though he doesn't really like this sythetic version. John says something louder that sounds a bit like marshmellow man but probably not.  
'Speaking of John, I need to think about what he said. Am I becoming someone else to win him over?' Aaron pauses. Some would argue that he is. He cracks more jokes and goes to more events with his friends. He's louder and bolder and mabye even some of that South Carolina recklessness is rubbing off on him. He's a love sick fool who day dreams about his roommate and has even tired some YouTube drawing tutorials. But is that change? Or who he was before his parents died. Sure, he's trying to draw, but that's because watching John sparked interest. And evreything else is just him feeling more free around John. And does he seem confident. Hell no. His self esteem is at a all time low. But he feels so confident about this. 'But will John ever feel the same way?' Aaron's thoughts are interrupted as he sees something in the doorway. He jumps before noticing its only John.  
"Sleeping Bueaty is up. I set your computer on the counter." Aaron greets cheerfully. John gives a tired smile and nods.  
"Yeah, thanks for moving it, and for the blanket." John runs a hand through his hair, which he is putting in a bun. "Anything I can do to help?"  
"Nah, I think I've got it. I mean, you could get drinks but that's about it." Aaron pulls the pizza out the oven and sets it on the counter. John opens the cabinet and pulls out two cups. He crosses to the fridge and starts to fill both with water. Aaron tears his eyes away to focus on cutting the pizza. He's just about done when a full cup clatters to the floor.  
"Shit! Sorry! I- I'll clean it up!" John drops to his knees in the puddles and begins to collect ice cubes. His shirt is drenched as well.  
"Oh it's fine. You should have seen when Laf dropped one of my glass ones." Aaron takes the tray and sets it at the table before beginning to help John. He then sees John's hands are shaking. He watches as John spreads out a towel before throwing the ice in the sink. "John, lets see your hands."  
"Wha- what?" John stops and looks down at his hands. Aaron comes forward and takes one of his trembling hands.  
"You're shaking. Why?"  
"I'm just tired. Haven't slept much. Lately." John mumbles, looking down at his feet. Aaron nods in understanding.  
"Ok after dinner, you lay down and sleep." Aaron commands. He's not expecting a protest but he hears John open his mouth agian.  
"But its too cold." He grumbles, clearly embarrassed by the statement. His cheeks flush adorably and his freckles stand out even more. Aaron motions for him to wait before darting into his room. He emerges with a creme colorec sweater Laf had bought for him a year ago.  
"Put this on. It'll keep you warm." Aaron turns and heads back for silverware.  
"Thank Aaron. For evreything. I'll repay you someday." John calls after him, voice soft and sincere.  
'Your heart would be enough. Your love would be all the payment I need.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ideas please. For next chapter I'm thinking of having some fluff between John and Aaron during a nightmare but I'm out of ideas after that. And for those who have read my high school burrens fic If Life Was Fair, the first part of the ending has been posted.


	3. I'll Be Your Safe Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John gets an invite to the movies. Alex is being a dick without knowing it. Aaron promises to keep John safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John gets an invite to the movies. Alex is being a dick without knowing it. Aaron promises to keep John safe. He then goes over board in taking revenge for John. Thank you to totally_punk_rock for the idea.

John sighs as his phone buzzes on his nightstand. It's Saturday and he's bored out of his mind. Aaron had gone to visit Theo, again. It seems like he's gone over more and more since that night at the mall. He rolls over lazily and swipes his phone.

From Blue: hey do you want to join us for a movie? everyone else will be there

From Turtlelove: everyone?

From Blue: everyone will be there. we're going to see The Greatest Showman at two

From Turtlelove: ok I'll be there

He set up the phone on the bed and got up. He had 40 minutes to get to the theatre. He looks around for a clean shirt, his room is a mess. He sighs and settles for wearing his sleep shirt. He slides into some faded blue jeans and puts on his converses. 20 minutes to get there. The adventure of the most boring day ever begins. He jogs down the stairs and then looks down at his shirt. It's the one Aaron picked out for him. And it loudly shouts he's gay. 'Oh well, the world can deal with it.'  
He walks down to the theatre, letting his mind wander as he does so. 'Why has Aaron been acting so odd around me lately? It's like he's afraid of something. Or maybe someone. He smiles more and makes more jokes. He's opener and that emotionless robot I met years ago just, isn't there anymore. And then he asks me for advice on asking someone out. Maybe this someone was the reason for this change. But this someone had to be someone he met recently. Someone like me-!' A girl in a fluffy yellow dress barrels into John, knocking him out if his thoughts.  
"You showed up! Bout time slow poke!" Peggy yells as she drags John over, or tries to as he's like a foot taller than her. He lets the girl drag him over to the large group waiting with tickets.  
"Hey John. We already got you a ticket. And popcorn." Eliza smiles at him as she hands him a ticket.  
"Just as long as you don't mind sharing with me." Aaron calls. John chuckles and nods his thanks as Thomas drags Alex and James onto the scene. They're all bright red.  
"Guys! Alex just asked James out! We are now a threesome!" Thomas crows. Laf runs over and kisses all there's cheeks to congratulate them. John spots Aaron teasing James about something. Suddenly Alex says something that catches his attention.  
"This is perfect. I truly love them. More than any others I've dated. They are nothing compared to Thomas and James." John stumbles back, tears brimming in his eyes. It feels like Alex just took his broken heart, stepped all over it, and gave him back the shattered ruins. He clamps a hand over his mouth to muffle a sob before taking off into the crowded movie theatre.  
"John?" Maria calls after him. Aaron looks up, seeing John's back disappear into the crowd. He hands the popcorn to Theo, commanding her not to eat any. He then takes off after the other man. He ducks past people while searching for John. He spots the other man by the back wall. He puts on a burst of speed and races towards John. He catches the freckled man's arm.  
"John! John stop its Aaron!" He turns John around. He's unsurprised to see he's crying, heavily. But caught off guard by the fact John is wearing the shirt Aaron picked out for him. In public to boot. He feels a flush break on his face. 'Not now Aaron! John needs you.' He shakes it away. John is shaking like a leaf in the wind. Tear tracks are drying on his face. He looks utterly broken. "He doesn't care Aaron! He never did! He never will! He'll just keep treadin' all over my heart till I can't live with it anymore! He'll keep hurtin' me till there ain't nothing left to hurt!" John cries, southern accent taking over. He sobs and Aaron feels nothing but the need to help John and punch Alex in the face. He wraps John in a hug and let's him cry in his shoulder. He hushes John as he cries and rubs his back. He's been where John is right now. After he and Theo broke up. He'd thought he'd never recover, never be the same, never stop feeling the hurt. And to hear his friend Nathaniel tell him that he was safe. That had helped so much. He takes John's hands it his and squeezes them, resting his chin on John's shoulder. "He can't. I won't let him. If he wants to hurt you, he has me to deal with. I'll keep you safe. As safe as it gets. No one will ever harm you as long as I'm around, I swear it till I'm dead..." He trails off, wondering if John just heard that promise. 'I'm giving everything to him. When will he notice? When will he give it back?' He waits for John to stop but then someone taps his shoulder. It's Laf. He looks down at his friend sadly. "Jean, you want to skip the movie?" Laf adds his arms to Aaron's which makes his jealous for some reason. John shakes his head though its still buried in Aaron's shoulder. "No, I just want to be as far away from Alex as possible." He sits up and takes a shaky breath. Herc comes over with Eliza and Maria. Aaron suddenly feels out of place and pulls back. He notices John still clings to his hand slightly before Aaron pulls away and heads off to find Alex. Would he looked back he would have seen John starring at him with a new look on his face. Aaron stops Alex with Thomas and James. Go figure. "Alexander, can I speak with you for a moment?" He calls sweetly. Alex nods, giving each of his boyfriends a kiss before walking over. He opens his mouth to speak but Aaron beats his to it. "Why did you do that?" He hisses, venom and bite in every word. "D-do what?" "You know what I fucking mean Hamilton!" Aaron yells. Alex shrinks back as Aaron drives him back into the wall. "Why the fuck do you tell people you love them then throw them away like trash? Why do you feel the need to break every man or woman that's stupid enough to fall for you? People aren't for your fucking picking! You can't tell someone that they're your one and only and not even care about them the next day! You can't date someone and sleep with another person when they're gone! How can you ever ask us for love and attention when you need so much for yourself that you have none to give?! Why?!" He shouts as Alex curls in on himself. "I didn't know! I'm sorry!" Alex whimpers out. Aaron smacks his right cheek and he falls to the ground. With strength Aaron didn't know he possessed, he grabs Alex's collar and lifts him up. "Fuck you." He spits, with such anger and emotion he sees Alex squirm. Sees the fear in his eyes. "You stay far away from John for the rest of the night, or you'll truly make me mad." He growls before throwing Alex to the ground. He then storms off. Angelica spots Alex on the ground and walks over. While glaring at him, she helps him up. "Alexander," she huffs, " congratulations. You have angered a man in love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and for all who left comments or kudos! I feel loved! I'm always open to ideas.


	4. It's Just A Passing Breeze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria comforts John and him through a storm she knows all too well. Eliza tries and kinda succeeds in helping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maria comforts John and him through a storm she knows all too well. Eliza tries and kinda succeeds in helping. John is returned to one panicked Aaron later.

Maria hums quietly as she trots down the hallway of the dorms. She pauses as a familiar sobbing reaches her ears. She stops and spots John running inside, crying harder than at the movies a week ago. She races over, concerned.  
"John?" She calls and gets no reply so she catches his larger frame and he skids to a stop. "John, its Maria, are you ok?"  
"M-Mari?" He whispers and she nods. He sobs and covers his eyes. "No, no I'm n-not ok. Aaron and A-Alex were-" he breaks off into more harsh sobs. Maria sighs and lets him lean on her.  
"Come on. We're going to my dorm room." She presses the 10 for the elevator and they wait. She takes in his appearance. He's pale and shivering, probably because he just ran in snow without a jacket. His freckled cheeks are red and his eyes are puffy. His hair is sticking out this way and that. She takes his hand and rubs his knuckles soothingly. His face calms a bit and some of the film over his eyes clears. They get to Maria's dorm and she sits him on the couch with blankets and a few for herself.  
"Alright. Hon, I'm gonna need you to tell me it all, from the beginning." She takes his shaking hands and looks into his eyes. He lets out a terrified breath but nods. She prepares for the worst.  
"Herc and Laf invited us to come have dinner at Roman Villa. Alex brought Thomas and he sat by me. Aaron was on my other side. While waiting for food Aaron noticed, um, cuts on my wrist. I was scared so- so I started to panic. When Laf asked if I was doing that and I broke." The tears come pouring back. "I said I was being put through hell and that it was fine. But Aaron said it was just the breakup and we should leave. Alex told him that I needed to confront my fear. Then they started to fight. Yelling and shouting insults. Aaron threw the first punch. Then I ran." John covers his eyes. Maria watches sadly.  
"John, honey, was it you?" She takes his wrists and finds the red, infected cuts. "Was this you?" He looks at her before turning to look else where.  
"Yes..." He whispers, almost so quiet she doesn't hear him. She pulls him into a tight hug, tears rolling down her cheeks.  
"No, no, no. John Laurens I forbid it. That's not how you cope. This," she lifts his wrists, "is a dangerous game. And no man or woman or person is worth it. And you-"  
"I deserve it. Mari you don't understand! I'll never be good enough for anyone! I'm not! This was my only comfort when my dad disowned me! When Francis broke up with me, and now I'm losing Alex too! No one is there! No one wants to be there. And I don't blame them... I'm just-- I can't- I wish I was dead- or in a coma-- I just want a fucking break!" John chokes out through his tears. Maria sighs and just rocks him gentally.  
"Ok doll, I get it. But we are their. All of us. I promise. Forever and always. This is merely a phase honey. Just a chapter in your life story. It ain't gonna last forever."

Eliza finally just called Maria herself after Aaron called the 10th time to see if she knew where John was. It rang a few times before Maria picked up.  
"Hi Liza-"  
"Johns with you isn't he?"  
"Wh-what?"  
"Maria, if John is with you he needs to go home. Laf called me in tears. Herc is panicking. Aaron is doing both. Just, they're all worried. He needs to go home." Eliza runs a hand through her hair. Does she care about John, yes she did. So is it wrong of her to be jealous he seems closer to her girlfriend than she is sometimes? She huffs before changing direction and instead heading for her and Maria's dorm.  
She hikes up the stairs while waiting for Maria to respond. She eventually never gets one so just hangs up. Why does John know her Mari, better than she does? Why did Maria open up so easily to him when she too hand dated Alex?  
'Because they loved him. It wasn't for popularity or money, they just loved him. And he threw them both out like trash.' She opens the door. John and Maria are waiting. John is sleeping on her shoulder. Maria looks up.  
"I called Aaron. He's coming to pick him up." She mutters, almost bitterly. Eliza looks up meets her girlfriends eyes. They sit in silence. Then there's a knock on the door. Eliza gets it and finds a nervous wreck of Aaron Burr.  
"T-thanks got watching him Maria. Bye Liza. Goodnight." He takes John, who's now awake. The dorm door shuts and Eliza turns to Maria.  
"We need to talk."

Aaron helps John into his truck and they drive for a moment. Then Aaron loses it.  
"Christ, John I'm so sorry. I should have thought about you and that wasn't the way to handle it forgive me please." He rambles. John sighs.  
"It's fine." He whispers. Aaron braces for the next part.  
"And your wrist. Is it you?" John tenses. His breath hitches and Aaron's heart sinks.  
"Yes." John mummers back. Aaron nods before pulling into the parking lot. He licks the doors on his side and looks at John.  
"Ok, we need to talk..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it. So I'm thinking of bringing Lee, Seabury, and KG3 into this. Lee and Seabury on Aaron's side and KG3 works with John. Good idea or no?


	5. I Am The Car Racing For Distant Shores

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Aaron chat. Laf does some late night worrying with our favorite puffy haired Virgina native. It's all gonna crash and burn.  
> Sorry for last chapter's cliff hanger.  
> Not finished yet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John and Aaron chat. Laf does some late night worrying with our favorite puffy haired Virgina native. It's all gonna crash and burn. John tries to run away.

John stares at Aaron, wide eyed and afraid. His heart is pounding in his chest and his heart drops to his stomach. Aaron's eyes are on the road agian, but they're driving out into the country and away from the city. 'Oh god. What am I going to do?' John breaths pick up.  
"A-about what?" He stammers, trying to focus on the corn rows outside. Aaron slams his fist into the steering wheel.  
"God fucking damn it John!" Aaron explods. his eyes blaze with anger and John pushes against the wall, terrifed and lost for words. "You know what I fucking mean! This! Your wrist! Don't you fucking dare play dumb with me after I spent all night worrying and looking for you! Why the fuck are you doing this-"  
"Because I'm not good enough! I'm just not! Not for my friends! Not for Francis! Not for Martha! Not for my Dad! Not for Alex..." The rage in John vanishes and he curls in sobbing. The anger Aaron has bottled up only gets worse.  
"If I hear you say Alex's name one more time..." The threat hangs heavy in the air. John looks up at Aaron with teary eyes. He'd know if John went back to Maria. So his only hope was that King would help him find a place to hide from the world. 'I've run all the way from my house to the border of South Carolina. I can run to the cafe.' He waits for the perfect moment to unlock his door and jump out if the moving car. "JOHN!" Aaron screams. The landing isn't as smoothe as John hoped it would be. He hits hard and rolls, his head cracking on the road side and he cries out. His nose starts bleeding and his ribs scream in agony. But that can't stop him. He sprints into the tall corn fields and heads back to New York.  
Aaron slams on the brakes and runs out. He spots the pool of blood where John had been seconds ago and sobs. His heart shatters as he sees the trail lead into the corn. 'What have I done?'  
"WHAT HAVE I DONE!?" He screams out loud, voice broken as he falls to his knees. "John I'm sorry! Please come back! I'm so sorry! JOHN COME BACK PLEASE!" He screams into the dead night. But John Laurens is gone. Aaron sobs loudly into the quiet. "I love you..."

Laf bolts up, panting. Their heart is pounding and tears stream down their cheeks. The spare room's door opens and Thomas peeks in. He frowns at the crying Frenchman in the bed.  
"Laf? What's wrong?" The Virginian comes over and wraps them in a hug. Laf sniffles and wraps their arms around the other man. They take a few deep breaths before speaking in a shaky voice.  
"I-I had a nightmare. That John was in danger. He was hurt and crying. Then he died and I had to watch him pass away."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I need more ideas so, yeah. Also my chapter name comes from Once On This Island's Forever Yours. Great song, look it up. Thanks to everyone who has left kudos.


	6. The Kind, The Guilty, and The Brave Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Charles Lee and his two boyfriends. John seeks refuge in the city with a old enemy. Laf gives us a brief view of life with the guilty, five people from the dinner after John's disappearance. We find out John's condition and injuries as well. Part one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter Charles Lee and his two boyfriends. John seeks refuge in the city with a old enemy. Laf gives us a brief view of life with the guilty, five people from the dinner after John's disappearance. We find out John's condition and injuries as well. Part one

Lee rocks out of the bed as he hears a knock on his apartment door. King also sits up, rubbing his blue eyes. Sam is still sound asleep, curled in between them. King lovingly kisses the redhead and gets up with Lee to check it out. As Lee goes to grab his gun, King opens the door and lets out a horrified gasp.  
"Laurens?" He says and Lee freezes. First, why the fuck is his old enemy at his house. Yes, they had made amends when Laurens began to stay with Aaron, but they still didn't see eye to eye. Second, why did King sound so scared. Lee takes the gun and edges out. He frozen agian when he hears King call:  
"Christ! What happened to you. Lee come help me he's hurt!" Lee drops the gun and runs out. True enough, the freckled man is leaning heavily on Lee's boyfriend, blood trickling from his nose and gasping for breath. His body shakes and every resentment and question vanishes from Lee's mind.  
"Put him on the couch." Lee commands. Sam wanders out rubbing his eyes.  
"W-what's going on?" He mumbles, putting on his glasses. King is helping Laurens onto the couch as he wheezes. Now knowing John Laurens, he was very fit and wasn't gasping even after a marathon. So the fact he sounded like he was dying meant something was very wrong.  
"Sam, can you go call the doctor. Tell him we need him at our house." King comes over. Sam frowns, but goes to do as told. King looks at Lee with a deep frown. "He would only come to us if something was very wrong. He might tell you what happened."  
"But why me?" Lee complains. King gives him a stern look.  
"Because you used to be friends. And Sam hates blood, he'll need my comfort." King cups Lee's cheek. Lee hesitates but eventually nods. King kisses him and motions to the couch. Lee takes a deep breath and walks over. Laurens is still breathing funny. His chest rises and falls in sharp, ragged breaths. He snaps his eyes open as Lee sits down. He then looks away.  
"Wanna tell me what happened?" Lee starts awkwardly. Laurens huffs before wincing and giving a tiny nod.  
"Aaron was getting mad. At me because I was talking about Alex. I got scared and jumped out of the moving car. The landing was rough and... And I think I busted my ribs and did something to my ankle while running here. I know you're gonna say I'm a coward for running away but-" Laurens rambles, but Led cuts him off.  
"I'm not. You didn't have to jump out a moving car and run all the way here to us, but you have to be brave, and crazy, to do either. I'm more worried you hurt yourself internally." Lee sighs. Laurens smiles gratefully. They wait in silence for the doctor.

Two days later

Laf couldn't focus. Ever since their nightmare two nights ago, and Aaron's recounting of John jumping out of his car, all they could do was worry. The entire hamilgang, as Alex called them, was on red alert looking for John. Laf felt deep down, they were guiltily for Johns running away. If they had never invited John, Aaron, Alex, and Thomas to the same dinner none of this would have happened. John would be here, safe and not all shaken up again.  
Herc had helped Aaron find John's knife, the one he'd been using to cut himself, and got rid if it. All three of them, even Alex, were shaken to the core when they learned about the silted wrists.  
"Laf, honey, are you going to eat all that Mac-n-cheese?" Herc's voice shakes Laf out if their trance and thoughts. Tommy's meal is untouched in front of them. Herc had eaten a small portion of his. Alex is just pushing his around, taking an occasional bite. Thomas is eating, but his hands shake as he lifts the fork and sets it down. Aaron just stares at his food, not even responding to anything or one. They open their mouth and shake their head.  
"I-I don't know if I could keep it down mon amour." They whisper. Herc sighs and nods. Silence passes and then Aaron stand abruptly and runs out of the kitchen. Laf follows. They cringe as they hear Aaron retching in the bathroom. All any of them could do was worry. And Aaron was taking it the hardest. And Laf was beginning to suspect that Aaron felt something more for John than they knew. And they had to find their friend.

Downtown in a hospital

Lee wasn't scared, he was terrified. For two days, he had watched John struggle to breathe in a hospital bed. IVs hooked up to every body part and a brace on his leg. The doctors said John busted his ribs and damaged his lungs, but nothing that wouldn't heal. Dark bruises covered his body and ugly purple ones are scattered all over John's chest.  
His ankle was sprained, and he would need crutches for a while. His foot had been horribly swollen the night if his arrival. King, Sam, and Lee had agreed to call Aaron and tell him where John was. One, because he was freaking out, all if them were. Peggy had seen King and burst into tears, begging him for any information he had in John's location. It'd been heartbreaking.  
Two, they couldn't take care if John. They couldn't give him all the care and medical attention he needed.  
Three, Aaron and his friends deserved to see John before and after he went into surgery.  
The doctors had not only found his cuts to be infected, but also a blood clot where he had hit his head jumping from the car. The doctors said they caught it early so it should all go find and he'll be ok, but Sam told them that a blood clot could be life threatening. Lee didn't get any sleep that night.  
John would go into surgery Monday morning at 4:00 am. Today was Friday. Now John was being incredibly brave. He agreed right away to the surgery and even said they could call his friends. He wax the calmest though he was the one going into the hospital to get worked on.  
Lee sighs and closes his eyes. It was going to be a very long weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I hope y'all liked it. Sorry it's been a while but holidays keep you busy!

**Author's Note:**

> Give me ideas. I always need them. Thanks for reading!


End file.
